Rating: R very bad words...said a lot. And then some groping.
7 years since they parted ways, two old flames meet again. Does lightening ever strike twice?
“Darling? I’ve missed you,” Anthony felt himself embraced by his old friend Idina.
After a minute, she released him and he shook hands with her husband and another old friend, Taye. “How ya doing, kiddo?”
Anthony smiled, “Must you call me that?”
Taye nodded, “Old habits die hard.”
A voice from his left said, “He’s finally here!” Anthony was suddenly being smothered into a very familiar Santa outfit.
“Hello, Wilson. Any chance I could get some oxygen in the near future?” Anthony was smiling widely. “Why are you already in costume?”
Wilson blushed and mumbled something.
“What did you say?”
Idina grinned, “He said he missed the old thing and couldn’t want to wear it again.”
Jesse joined the group and shook Anthony’s hand warmly, “Nice to see you, Anthony.”
“You too, Jesse,” Anthony looked around at the people he had starred in RENT on Broadway. They were all there to take the musical to movie screens everywhere. It was a huge project and Anthony was so proud to be there. But someone was missing. The one who Anthony missed the most and was the most afraid to see.
“So, where’s Adam?” he finally asked, praying no one would notice the slight tremor in his voice.
But one person did notice. A voice Anthony had never forgotten spoke, “He’s standing right behind you, Ant.”
Anthony slowly turned and looked at the ground, “Hey.”
“Hey,” Adam didn’t hold out his hand or hug Anthony. Anthony looked up. Adam just gazed at him with the same mixed emotions Anthony had been feeling. Two pairs of blue eyes met mirroring confusion, fear, joy, and just a hint of something more.
“I’ve missed you,” Adam said softly.
“I’ve missed you too.” Anthony looked at the ground again. “I hear you’ve got two kids now.”
Adam nodded, “Yeah. Lennon and Monty, they’re the greatest.”
“Cybelle doing all right?” Anthony asked, trying to keep the contempt out of his voice.
Adam nodded, but didn’t speak. He was just as nervous seeing Anthony again, after...everything.
“We should...talk I guess,” Anthony struggled to get his words out without crying or shouting.
“Yeah. Hey guys, we’re off to catch up. See ya all again soon,” Adam called to their assembled friends.
Idina and Taye waved, Jesse called, “Well duh”, and Wilson gave them a confused look before lifting his cup of coffee towards them and nodding.
Adam took Anthony by the hand and started to lead him to where he was staying, until he realized what he was doing. He quickly dropped Anthony’s hand and just beckoned him to follow. They walked in silence until they had reached Adam’s hotel room. He opened the door and let Anthony in first. He closed the door and sat on the bed, while Anthony leaned against the wall. They studied each other for a tense minute until Adam spoke.
“You look great.”
Anthony snorted, “Thanks. I try. Too bad, I’m no longer your preference.”
Adam cringed, “Look, I’m...”
“Sorry?” Anthony laughed a mirthless chuckle, “You left me, Adam. You left me and got married. You didn’t so much as leave a fucking note. Was what we had not even worth a fucking NOTE? I had to read about your marriage on the Internet!”
“I never meant...”
Anthony interrupted his former lover again, “Of course you never meant to hurt me. You never mean to hurt anyone. So what happened, did you never love me? Did she get you drunk? Is she better in bed?”
“I GOT SCARED!” Adam screamed.
“And you ran away like a fucking child! Was I not even worth being scared? I was scared too, but I stayed by you, much to my misfortune.” Anthony was getting pissed now.
“I wasn’t sure. I was only 25 and I just wasn’t sure,” Adam muttered, trying to keep the tears from falling.
“Well, I was. I figured if I loved you and you loved me, then the world could fuck off! We had each other and didn’t need anything else. Guess I was wrong,” Anthony turned to go.
Anthony stopped moving but didn’t turn back.
Adam spoke, “You weren’t wrong. I did love you. I really loved you, so much it scared me. I never cared about anything in my life as much as you. I knew I’d die if you left me, so I stupidly left first. That way you couldn’t hurt me.”
“But you were okay with hurting me? That’s real nice of you. Thanks for the consideration!” Anthony’s words were turning to barbs in the air.
“I will say I’m sorry until I’m blue, but you still won’t listen will you? I’m leaving her,” Adam was crying now, “I can’t function without you. These past years have been utter hell. Every time Cybelle and I had sex, I couldn’t cum until I thought of you and I always had to be careful not to scream YOUR NAME! I’ve missed you like fucking hell, Ant.”
Anthony turned to look at Adam, “You could have called.”
“You changed your number, there wasn’t a forwarding one,” Adam said in between shaky breaths.
“I wanted to,” Anthony started to sob too, “I wanted to...leave everything...and stay away...from...you.”
“I’m sorry, Ant. I’m so many different kinds of sorry and if I could do it all over, I would have stayed. I still...love you,” Adam confessed.
Anthony knelt down at the foot of the bed in front of Adam, “I still love you too. I could never stop. I was so mad at you, I tried to fucking hate you...but I couldn’t. And even now, I’m giving in. I need you so much, but I shouldn’t be forgiving you so easily. You did something really shitty to me and yet, I just want you to be back with me. More than anything.”
Adam just lifted his face to meet Anthony’s eyes, he wept harder when he saw the hurt in his beloved’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ll say it forever, I’ll do anything to prove it to you.”
“I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to be sure. Is this...forever?”
Adam nodded slowly, not trusting his voice anymore.
Anthony smiled, just a small smile, but it filled Adam’s heart with a joy he’d almost forgotten. “Well...you look awful.”
Adam laughed in pitiful attempt at showing he was okay, “I try.”
“Well, geez. Here,” Anthony grabbed a tissue from his pants pocket, “Wipe your face. If you wore make-up it would be all messed-up by now.”
Adam accepted the Kleenex and ran it over his face. “Thanks.”
Anthony laughed a little, “Must I always take care of you? How much can you get out of the Roger act?”
Adam grinned, “It’s at least giving you the pleasure of watching out for me.”
Anthony stood up and held out his hand, “Come on and get up. Go into the bathroom and clean up. I’m not kissing you with the tears and snot covering your face.”
Adam took Anthony’s hand and stood up, moving quickly to the bathroom to make sure his face was clean. He fell back against the wall and took a deep breath. He was so afraid Anthony was going to leave, but as he came back into the main room he saw that Anthony was lying on the bed.
“Counting the ceiling tiles?” Adam asked.
Anthony turned his head, “Yeah. I’m up to 338. But I’ll stop counting if you can think of something more interesting to do.” The suggestiveness in his voice was impossible to miss.
Adam tilted his head and pretended to think, “Well, I guess we could watch TV, or maybe finish counting the tiles, or there’s always,” Adam moved to the bed and straddled Anthony’s hips, “we could have passionate make-up sex.”
Anthony smiled at Adam, “So, what’s on tonight?”
Adam leaned down and ran his tongue along Anthony’s ear, “Well, there’s probably an old movie on TCM.” He licked the spot below, “Maybe a soap opera on the non-cable.” Adam moved his lips to Anthony’s neck, “Of course, there’s always pay-per-view pornos if we get desperate.”
“Oh fuck, Adam,” Anthony moaned.
Adam chuckled against his lover’s skin, “Well, if you insist.”
Anthony rolled his eyes and moved his head to catch Adam’s lips in a passionate kiss. Their tongues quickly began to dance as though they had never been seperated. Their hands moved over each other’s bodies as though the years apart were nothing.